


A Different Kind Of Jedi

by FinTheBox



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Republic Commando Series - Karen Traviss, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Blood, Clone Troopers - Freeform, I'm gonna be adding to this probably, Injury, Jedi, Jedi healer, Swearing, These are really not in order, world building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:35:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28900500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinTheBox/pseuds/FinTheBox
Summary: A MedCorps healer is sent to the front lines of the Clone Wars. Things only get more complicated from there.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi (background), Original Character & Bardan Jussik, Original Character & Clone Troopers, Original Character & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	A Different Kind Of Jedi

**Author's Note:**

> Here I give you a self indulgent fic about one of my star wars OC's. This morphed into way more than I ever thought it would be. I'm taking what I like from Canon and Legends because I can. I like world building. I will be updating the tags for this, probably.
> 
> I do swear in this, just so whoever happens to actually read this knows that. 
> 
> Disclaimer: yes I have read the Republic Commandos books by KT. She really fucked them up in a lot of ways, and there are a lot of things I don't agree with. I do use her characters and I will probably use them more in the future, just know that I have taken their base personalities and have built on them to be better. Kal is not white, or an asshole. Etain doesn't exist. I only use her plot loosely and most of it wont even come up.

Work in the Halls of Healing was always done quietly and efficiently. Gently smoothing down bacta patches, giving soft words of comfort, administering painkillers. It was an ingrained habit to keep things quiet and calm for the sake of the patients. 

Taven’s shift was finally coming to an end. Despite how much she loved her job, a break was more than welcome. Rest was scarce most days. 

Since the war had started, more and more Jedi ended up in the care of the Healers.

Taven's muscles were tired, her legs barely keeping her standing. She was on her way to get a fresh cup of caf when the presence of a small green jedi drew her attention.

It was a surprise, one Taven wouldn't forget any time soon.

"Master Yoda, how can I help you." Taven pulled her best smile. It was small and lacked the confidence of earlier that day. Hours of work made it hard to want to do anything but lay down and sleep. On top of that, why was the Grand Master of the Jedi Order wandering the Halls of Healing?

"To the Room of a Thousand Fountains you will take me." Yoda smiled kindly, his eyes gentle. 

Taven tried not to grimace. She supposed she should be grateful that her shields were tight enough that Yoda couldn't feel her exhaustion. Or maybe he did and he chose to say nothing about it.

No one refused a request from Grand Master Yoda. Taven wasn't sure why he had picked her of all people to take him to the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

It had been years since Taven had been a youngling in one of Yoda's meditating or lightsaber classes. She was sure he didn't even remember her name. 

"Troubled are you, Taven?" he asked, keeping his tone light as if it was just an ordinary visit. As if she was just another Padawan roaming the halls. As if she was one of his star pupils.

Taven shook her head quickly despite wanting to nod. He actually remembered. "No Master, simply curious." She bent and offered an arm to the old master. She had seen others do it, how hard could it be to carry him? The walk would go faster that way.

Yoda took her blue hand and hauled himself up to easily perch on her shoulder. His clawed feet held on securely, but not so hard as to hurt. Taven was silently thankful that Yoda was lighter than he looked.

When Taven was sure Yoda was comfortable, she started to walk, leaving the Halls of Healing and heading in the direction of the Room of a Thousand Fountains. 

Taven was very aware of her slightly sweaty scrubs as she walked down the cavernous halls of the Jedi Temple. Everyone else was wearing the usual tan and brown Jedi robes. Could Yoda smell her anxiety? Was that a thing he could do? She knew so little about him. Granted, his species was a mystery to most either way. From what Taven had heard, the small Master seemed to prefer his cryptic presence. 

There weren't many people out and about, but multiple glances were aimed at Yoda and Taven. It was enough to make Taven slightly twitchy. Yoda seemed to take every glance in stride with a small nod or faint smile. Taven could sense the questioning silence everyone was releasing into the Force. Only Yoda seemed certain about his intentions, a calm and unwavering presence.

It was Master Yoda who finally broke the silence.

"To the 212th you are going, I hear," Yoda said. He adjusted his footing to stay steadily perched on Taven’s shoulder. His clawed feet felt oddly smooth for what Taven assumed to be reptilian skin. Maybe she could pull up his file in the Halls of Healing later.

Taven swallowed before answering smoothly, "Yes Master. I'll be leaving tomorrow." Why did he care? Didn't the Grand Master of the Jedi Order have more pressing matters than Taven’s deploy?

Yoda hummed thoughtfully. He was considering something, Taven could feel that much, but she hadn't the slightest idea what it was. She had no idea why the Jedi Master was interested in anything that had to do with her. Had she done something wrong? Surely nothing that would require the intervention of the Grand Master though. Taven kept her shields up close in her mind. If Yoda picked up on her discomfort... It would be embarrassing to say the least, and Taven wasn't a youngling anymore.

"Kenobi's battalion that is. Injured is he?" Of course, one of the star pupils of the Jedi. Master Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi was becoming increasingly popular, and not just in the temple.

Taven wished she could answer, but nothing like that had been in her very brief mission detail. "No. Well, maybe. I don't know. There was a request from their head medic for an extra pair of hands. They've suffered heavy casualties..." That was never something Taven wanted to hear. The death toll was already high. Some people could manage to ignore it entirely, like most residents on Coruscant, but Taven found it increasingly hard to forget about. 

Everyone knew who Jedi Master Kenobi was. Him and Jedi Knight Skywalker were legends on the battlefield. They were known for their high mission success rate and low number of casualties, so the thought of them needing an extra medic was a bit jarring to Taven. They were the best of the best.

Yoda hummed again, something he did a lot, Taven observed.

Taven walked steadily despite the tight feeling in her legs. She was anxious to hear where this encounter was going. She almost wished someone would interrupt the conversation. Would it be rude to try and pawn the Grand Master off onto some unsuspecting Initiate or Padawan?

"Craft a lightsaber you should. Into a war zone you go." 

Memories flooded Taven’s head and she fought to keep them out of sight from Master Yoda. There was more behind that statement than Yoda was letting on. The way he said it had left almost no room for argument.

"With all due respect, Master Yoda, I have never needed a lightsaber in any of my previous journeys to the front lines." Taven felt her chest tighten as soon as she'd said it. Her heart rate picked up a few notches. No one talked back to the Grand Master. Especially not some washout in the MedCorps. But did Yoda not remember why she was in the MedCorps?

Taven wanted to crawl into a hole and hide forever. The only thing keeping her pace steady was Master Yoda's presence on her shoulder. And the fact that she really didn't want to lose her composure in front of any other Jedi either. It was easier to let them believe she was a nobody, a nobody that wouldn't raise her voice at the Grand Master of the Jedi Order.

Yoda nodded slowly. "Yes, heard of your other journeys I have." He shifted around a bit, presumably getting more comfortable again. Was she just that boney, or had he felt her tense? Taven hoped not. "A tool to protect yourself you will need. A lightsaber could be such a tool," he said, sounding a bit more insistent. 

Taven bit her lip. No one talked back to Yoda twice in the same day. He was too respected for that kind of treatment. "Master, I am no Jedi. I am hardly worthy of carrying a lightsaber." That wasn't the only reason Taven hadn't crafted her own lightsaber, but that was part of it. 

She focused on putting one foot in front of the other. The Room of a Thousand Fountains wasn't far, but time was stretching. The maroon carpet under her feet was too squishy, she felt like she was getting nowhere.

"Worthy? Proven yourself you have. Become a Padawan, you still can." 

Most Jedi wouldn't even consider arguing with Master Yoda a third time, but Taven wasn't really a Jedi. On top of that, Taven didn't want to be a Jedi. She was happy as a healer; it was everything she wanted to be.

"Master Yoda, I am honored that you think I would make a good Padawan, but I made my choice. Before I even took the Initiate trials I decided to become a healer in the MedCorps. I don't feel that my path has, or will, change. I'm happy as a healer, and I would prefer to stay a part of the MedCorps." The words came out more steadily than Taven could have hoped for. Now she just had to hope Yoda believed the sincerity of her words.

Finally, the Room of a Thousand Fountains appeared. Taven stepped through the towering doors, letting herself be calmed by the soft gurgle of nearby fountains and streams. As she entered the vast room, she almost found it hard not to be calmed by the presence of the bright and living Force.

Taven walked to a grassy area and carefully lowered herself onto her knees. She hoped Yoda didn't want her to stick around. She was familiar with the Room of a Thousand Fountains, but ever since joining the MedCorps, she felt like an intruder coming here. Too many people watched and stared, her unfamiliar clothing setting her apart from them. It made her overly 'other' to the Jedi.

Yoda jumped down from Taven’s shoulder and turned to face her, head slightly tilted. He kept his emotions tightly guarded, giving Taven no hints as to what he was thinking. "Force you I will not. Let the Force guide you, you should." With that, Yoda turned away and slowly walked deeper into the Room of a Thousand Fountains. 

Why did he sound so disapproving? Maybe she was just imagining it...

Taven stayed crouched on her knees for a long time, hanging her head, considering Yoda's words. What the Hell had just happened? Taven's whole body was numb, frozen in place.

Taven raised a hand and tugged at the string around her neck. She pulled the kyber crystal from under her scrubs. Rubbing a thumb over its unpolished surface, she could feel its gentle warmth against her skin. The Kyber was content to just be close to her. It never pushed her to make a lightsaber. Taven wondered if it would rebel at the idea if she tried.

Finally, Taven shook her head and stood up, shoving the orange Kyber back under her scrubs. The last thing she wanted to think about was fighting and killing with her Kyber crystal. It was wrong.

Taven wasn't a Jedi and she never would be. 

A cup of caf was well deserved.

\-----

"Master Yoda came to see me today," Taven said. Bardan was staring up at her from his vantage point as a tiny blue hologram.

Bardan opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. He took another moment to process what Taven had just said. "Seriously? The little green troll?" he asked, a smirk on the edge of his lips. It was worrying though. What did Master Yoda want with Taven? Bardan himself had only recently been knighted, but even he knew how important a conversation with the Grand Master could be.

"Yes, and don't call him that." Taven reprimanded him gently. She hadn't changed much, always the picture of respect and calm. The small smile on her lips was the only indication that she wasn't being serious.

"What, is he gonna hear me?" 

Taven rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I'm serious Bardan... He singled me out and I have no idea why, well, I guess I have some idea. He wants me to make a lightsaber."

Bardans face hardened slightly. That was no small request. "And are you going to? Make a lightsaber I mean." 

Taven shook her head a bit and closed her eyes, rubbing them with her thumb and forefinger. "No," she said quietly. "I don't like the implications of me making a lightsaber. I think it's a backdoor way of asking me to become a Padawan. He said it was for protection, but I don't believe him." Maybe Master Yoda's intentions were wrong, but Bardan could hardly argue with the protection part.

"Well then you don't have to. He might be right about that protection part though, the front lines are dangerous. I've also heard the 212th are insane." Bardan was being logical about it, but Taven's concerns were fair. Having a lightsaber was no small deal, especially in a galaxy where anyone carrying a lightsaber was ultimately dubbed 'Jedi'. Taven was always trying to separate herself from the Jedi, carrying around their symbol wasn't going to help her situation.

"I've been to the front lines before and I'm not likely to stop going out there now just because I don't carry a lightsaber. I was fine before and this time will be no different." Taven had actually been training with a range of other weapons from the standard clone issue DC-15A to vibroblades. The first mistake the enemy would make, Bardan thought, was assuming Taven was nothing more than a helpless medic. 

"I know you can take care of yourself, but I do worry sometimes when I hear you've been in a rough area." Bardan smiled faintly, protective and worried at the same time. He couldn't pretend that he didn't care for Taven's safety and well being. They had known each other for a long time, they had grown up together. They were partners in crime as younglings.

Taven had gotten more mature, and so had Bardan himself... But it hurt to see Taven so torn up about something as simple as a lightsaber. Sometimes he wished that childish playfulness would come back easier, even if it meant just a few moments about not worrying about large life problems. 

"I know. And I get to worry whenever you go galavanting off to who knows where and don't contact me for weeks." Taven glared at Bardan over the holo projection. That was fair, he did run off a lot. Part of that was because he was a general now, but that wasn't a good enough excuse. At least not for Taven, and she did deserve better than a hasty call as soon as Bardan got his hands on a comlink. 

Bardan held up his hands in surrender. "I know I know, I'm sorry. You know how it is though, sometimes I have to move quickly." More often than not. He did feel guilty about it, but there was only so much he could do.

Taven looked doubtful, but eventually the lines at the corners of her eyes softened. "How are your brothers?" She asked.

Bardan brightened up at the mention of his 'second family'. They were pretty much the reason he kept fighting in the war, but the longer he stayed with them the more he felt like less of a Jedi. He was beginning to understand why Taven had chosen not to become a Jedi in the first place. 

"Good. Most of them are out on missions right now. Of course Ordo is a bit sour about being left here all the time. I think he's secretly fine with it though because he can keep an eye on Kal'buir." Ordo would suck up the indignity of it because he cared about his father like he cared for his brothers. Ordo was nothing if not loyal to his family. 

Taven smiled. "He's got a full time job then from what I've heard."

Bardan nodded. "That he does." He took a slow breath. "You're sure you'll be ok?" he asked. She would be, but he had to ask anyway. It was his job as her older brother.

Taven barely managed to hold back a signature eye roll that she reserved only for Bardan himself. He probably deserved it, he knew he worried too much. "Yeah, I'll be okay. I'll be careful too, if that makes you feel better."

A sound came from behind Barden and he turned to look briefly before turning back towards Taven. "That's all I ask." He smiled regretfully. "I have to go, but call if you need anything, yeah?" He couldn't guarantee he'd be able to answer, but he knew Taven knew that. It was war... 

"I will. May the Force be with you," Taven said mockingly.

"And with you," Bardan shot back in a formal tone. It felt hollow. It was pretending things would be fine.

The blue hologram disappeared and Bardan was left staring at the small device in his hand. It was a special encrypted comlink Bardan had received from sergeant Skirata. He had given Taven an identical one so she could always contact him. 

Bardan hoped Taven would be safe like she promised.

\-----

Taven walked onto the supply ship that would take her and a fresh batch of clones out to the front lines. Back to the fighting...

There was a lot going on, loading the ship being one of those things, so Taven just tried to stay out of the way. She had offered to help load things before, quickly learning that she was more of a nuisance than a help. She gave everyone working a wide berth. In turn, no one paid attention to her.

There were quite a few clones, unsurprisingly, some with paint on their armor, others in plain white. 'Shiny' was the term, if Taven remembered correctly. Brand new rookies that lacked the battle scars and chipped paint that the veterans did. They wouldn't be shiny for very long. Taven tried not to think about how much blood stained armor she would be seeing in the near future, shiny or not.

She sat down in a corner for the long ride to the Negotiator, which was apparently unable to come back itself for resupply.

That gave Taven some time to observe the clones.

The clones were talking, messing around, sitting quietly, shaking their heads at their brothers’ antics. It didn't escape Taven’s notice that most of the clones messing around or acting a bit more loose all had paint on their armor, golden yellow. The Shinies seemed determined to sit as still as possible, only a few of them having enough courage to let out any movement that might give away their amusement. They were afraid to be themselves. 

Taven knew the clones had personal comm channels so they could talk within the safety of their helmets, so she wouldn't be surprised if things were much more lively than they appeared. They had their own more secret way of being themselves. Taven couldn't imagine growing up like that...

It always felt a bit strange being on the outside. What did they talk about amongst themselves?

If the veterans were anything to go by, the rookies would loosen up eventually. If they survived that long. That was another thought that made Tavens taste go bitter. They were so young, fresh off Kamino. They had trained all their lives for battle, but was it enough to truly prepare them for the horrors they would face on a real battlefield?

Taven wondered how many of them would be screaming in agony at their next battle. All that would be echoing over their comm units would be pained groans and frantic orders.

How many of them were going to die?

It was easier not to think about it. All Taven could do was try and save as many as possible. She would never be able to keep all of them alive, it was an impossible task. In moments like that, Taven was reminded why some people found it easier to ignore that the clones were human... It was easier to think of them like mindless droids.

Taven could never see them that way. She would never be able to ignore how unique each and every one of their Force signatures were.

***

Taven took a deep breath as the supply ship dropped out of hyperspace with a soft jolt and docked with the huge war cruiser, the Negotiator. 

All of the clones instantly snapped to attention. They moved off the ship in sync while some peeled away to help unload supplies. It was all a bit chaotic, but with a system. Everyone knew where they needed to go.

Except for Taven. She had no idea where she needed to go aside from the medbay. And where exactly was the medbay? She had no fucking idea. It didn't matter how many of the massive ships she'd been on before, she would never remember the maze of halls inside. Taven thought any clone that could remember where they were going deserved a medal.

Walking down the ramp, Taven was surprised to find someone waiting for her. 

The clone commander stood at a parade rest, helmet tucked under his arm. His back straightened a bit when Taven came into view. Taven only knew he was a commander because of the rank displayed on his chest and the obvious extras on his armor. "Commander Dax. CT-2224, Marshal Commander of the 212th Attack Battalion, at your service." His voice was clipped and formal.

It took a moment for Taven to realize he was referring to her. No one used her last name, and no one called her Commander. "Oh, no. I'm not a Commander, just a medic. You can call me Taven." She didn't want him to think he owed her any special treatment because she was his superior, and she definitely wasn't a higher rank than him.

"Are you not a Jedi, ma'am?" he asked. To his credit, there wasn't even a hint of uncertainty in his voice. Taven couldn't even feel it in the Force, his shields were impressive for a Force-null. He had probably looked at her file and seen that she was coming from the Temple on Coruscant, and he probably had no idea that MedCorps members weren't really Jedi in the conventional sense. He'd only made a logical connection.

Taven shook her head. How to explain this simply... "Not really, no. Just a part of the MedCorps; we aren't really Jedi," She clarified. She shifted the bag on her shoulder. "Do you have a name?" She knew all of the clones had names, and she much preferred a name to a number. Reciting a number when talking about a human being just felt all kinds of wrong. It was also a lot easier to calm an injured soldier down when she could use his name.

The commander's eyes betrayed his surprise at the question but he answered smoothly. "It's Cody." Taven hoped she wasn't the only one to ever ask for his name... He wasn't just another number.

"It's nice to meet you, Cody." Taven smiled. 

"I'm here to escort you to the medbay, Helix will be excited to see you." A small smile and Cody turned on his heel, waving for Taven to follow. 

Taven quickly fell into step behind him. Cody was quick, his long legs making bigger strides than Taven was capable of. She kept up only by adding a bit of a skip to her gait every once and awhile.

Of course, Cody knew the halls like the back of his hand.

White durasteel, transparisteel, training decks, and mess halls passed by in a blur and before Taven knew it she was standing outside of a bustling medbay. The pain bleeding into the Force and stench of bacta made it easily identifiable. 

The pain Taven could feel radiating from the area in waves made her tighten her shields on pure instinct. She would be of no use if she got overwhelmed.

Cody stepped through the sliding doors and Taven followed. She quickly dropped her bag on the floor off to the side, out of the way and the least of her worries at the moment. She doubted there would be much time for her to put her stuff away, and in any case she would rather be doing her job than settling into a room.

"Helix!" Cody shouted. His voice echoed with clear authority. Even Taven wanted to stand at the ready.

A medic poked his head up from beside a cot, not affected by Cody the same way. Either he was used to it, or he was too busy to care. "What? Kind of busy here."

"Got your extra set of hands."

Helix finished with his current patient, a clone stripped to his blacks with a fresh splint on his thigh, and quickly walked over to them, looking Taven up and down briskly. She could feel his irritation and anxiety, overly familiar with those feelings herself. "You're a Jedi?" he asked, making the same assumption Cody had. Taven wasn't sure why everyone thought that when she didn't even wear robes. She didn't carry a lightsaber either.

Taven shook her head. "No, part of the MedCorps. I volunteered to come when your request came through for help." Short and simple. The faster they got introduced, the faster they could both get to work.

Helix sighed, relief laced into it. "Okay. Well we could use your help with the more critical patients if you can do that Force healing thing. Honestly, as long as you've got hands you can help."

Taven nodded. "Just point me where you need me to go." She was at his disposal and she would help where she could. She wasn't here to mess with his system.

Helix was about to say something in response, his mouth half way open, when he suddenly snapped around, the famed 6th sense of all medics kicking in. "General! What have I told you about leaving your damn cot? I'm seriously cuffing you this time." He walked quickly to assist the red headed Jedi before he collapsed. Taven quickly followed.

Helix grabbed General Kenobi's left arm and Taven grabbed the right. Either the General was too loopy to come up with a good retort, or he was in too much pain. Probably a bit of both, Taven thought tartly.

"Ahh, Master Kenobi, we meet again." Taven couldn't help but smirk. She was familiar with that Jedi. She always seemed to get stuck with him or Skywalker when they eventually wound up in the Halls of Healing. They seemed to acquire more injuries than anyone else in the Order. There had even been a tally system going for awhile.

Kenobi managed to turn his head enough to catch sight of Taven. His eyes widened fractionally. "Oh..."

" 'Oh' is right, let's get you back to your cot, General," Taven said, drawing out the word 'General' in a mocking tone.

\-----

Taven helped Helix get Kenobi back to his cot. It was a bit difficult to keep the General on his feet but easy enough to guide him. His ability to walk in a straight line wasn’t present at the moment.

"I can take care of him if you want. Looks like he's split open whatever was patched before..." she figured, based on the sticky robes and red now coating her fingers.

Helix sighed exasperatedly. "If you can somehow convince him to stay here and take care of his wounds, that would be fucking amazing. When you're done, come find me again." He left quickly, leaving no room for small talk. There was no shortage of troops that required his attention. That left Taven and Kenobi alone behind a privacy screen.

"Taven..." 

"Save your breath for now, I'm gonna patch you up really quick and then we can talk." Taven was already peeling away the layers of Kenobi's robes to reveal the bacta patch covering a good portion of his side. Blood was welling up around the edges. Something underneath had torn back open, or maybe it hadn't been sealed all the way the first time. It was hard to patch things up on a battlefield, even harder when the patient refused to sit still. 

Taven was quick to pull back the soaked bacta patch after washing her hands and pulling on a pair of gloves. Only years of practice gave Taven the ability not to wince at what she saw. There was some colorful bruising surrounding a deep gash. Could have been from a blaster bolt because of the cauterized edges, but Taven assumed it was a lightsaber that came a bit too close. It was ugly and charred, smelling of burnt flesh and the start of an infection.

"Are all generals as insane as you and Skywalker?" Taven asked. She started to clean the wound with disinfectant before pressing her fingers to the edge of the gash, earning a pained gasp from Kenobi.

"What do you mean?" Kenobi asked innocently. The tightness in his voice betrayed the pain he was in. Taven wouldn't blame him, how long had he been laying there bleeding? She also guessed he’d refused painkillers which meant he felt everything she was doing.

"Don't play stupid with me, you know exactly what I mean," Taven said calmly. She let her eyes close as she slipped into a light meditation. She felt around the injury on a cellular level. The damaged areas felt burnt, irritated, and numb. Taven started to promote the process of cell regrowth and regeneration to heal the wound. 

"I didn't try to get hurt, if that's what you're implying."

Taven shook her head slowly, still concentrating. She didn't really care what kind of argument the Jedi had, it could wait until he was more stable. 

The gash was starting to look more like an angry red scrape from a bad fall rather than a gaping wound when Taven stopped pushing energy at it. It was healed enough now that it could be easily fixed with bacta. It would scar, but even Taven couldn't fix scar tissue.

With quick hands, Taven redressed the wound with a fresh bacta patch. She lathered the cold bacta over Kenobi's side. "How many drugs does Helix have you on?" She asked, the corner of her lip twitching slightly. She knew the answer was none, unless the medic had managed to sneak in a hypo at some point.

Kenobi shrugged a shoulder, wincing with the effort. "Not sure, but I'm fine, no need to waste them on me." A classic answer.

Taven raised an eyebrow, taking in Kenobi's full condition. His skin was pale, eyes glassy. More bruises than Taven could see or count. Force exhaustion, did the Jedi really have no idea how far he'd pushed himself? "You exhausted yourself. You need rest."

It was an order, not a statement.

Kenobi sighed and let his eyes close, a small wrinkle on his forehead showed his discomfort. Could have been from pain, or maybe the idea of staying in the medbay. Taven was all too familiar with Kenobi's aversion to getting medical attention, especially when he thought others needed it more than him. He was an impressive escape artist.

"I'm taking up an extra cot that someone else needs. I could at least go back to my ro-"

"No. You're staying right here where Helix and I can keep an eye on you." Taven wasn't going to argue with him about it. Maybe she would cuff him like Helix had threatened if she didn’t already know he could get out of them.

Kenobi sighed softly and looked at Taven. His gaze was far away, exhausted, strained. "I need to-"

Taven shook her head. "Anything you need to do can wait until you get some rest. I'm serious, Obi-Wan. You've Force exhausted yourself, I'm surprised you can even form words to talk." She really was worried, but she was also used to Kenobi and Skywalker taking those kinds of crazy risks. It didn't make her job any easier, but at least she had some idea of how to handle them.

Taven grabbed a thin blanket and covered Kenobi's shivering body with it. He had attempted to pull his robes back on, but instead she'd pulled them all the way off, leaving him in only blacks. Bloody robes wouldn't keep Kenobi warm, a fresh blanket would.

"I'm assuming Skywalker is racing to come see you?" Wherever Kenobi was, Skywalker was never far behind. That was a blessing and a curse all wrapped up in one neat package of Jedi Knight and recently acquired Padawan.

Kenobi sighed again. He might think of the man as his brother, but that made young Skywalker no less of a headache. "Probably."

Taven smiled knowingly. She couldn't fault Skywalker for how much he cared about his master, in fact she admired it. "Well, you know I'm not letting him in here until you've gotten at least eight hours of sleep." Taven knew Skywalker cared, but in Kenobi's condition rest was more important. One of the things she didn't admire was Skywalker’s inability to listen to a professional opinion.

"He'll go crazy."

"That's fine, as long as you get rest. Eight hours, I'll set a timer. If I see so much as a toe out of this cot I'm going to tie you down." Taven knew Kenobi would take that to heart. She'd tied him down before and she would do it again. "There might even be a steaming cup of tea in it for you if you manage to stay asleep the full eight hours." She smirked.

"Well with an offer like that, how could I refuse?" Kenobi smiled ever so slightly. 

Taven sighed and gave him a more gentle look. "Just rest, I'll keep Skywalker out for awhile. I'll be in to check on you later." She stood up and walked towards the edge of the privacy screen.

Kenobi nodded slightly and closed his eyes.

Taven waited. Once the general's breathing evened out into a more relaxed pace, she took her leave.

Taven stepped out into the chaos of the medbay. It was soothing and anxiety inducing at the same time. Taven wasted no time finding Helix and getting back to work. 

\-----

It had been a few hours since Helix had been shooed out of the medbay along with Taven so they could rotate shifts with some of the younger medics that were well rested and ready to work. It was hard for Helix not to argue, but Taven convinced him a cup of caf would be a nice short break. It wasn't like anyone was going to die if they stepped out for a few minutes, everyone had been stabilized. 

Helix sat across from Taven at a table in the mess hall. Both of them had their arms crossed on the table with their heads down. Taven looked as tired as Helix felt. He wasn't sure how Force healing worked exactly, but he knew it took quite a toll on the user. Taven hadn't held back. She had stepped into every situation without a hint of tiring. She had saved a lot of lives.

"I can't believe you got the general to actually sleep, you're gonna have to tell me your secrets." Helix sipped his caf with a small smile. Taven had managed a nearly impossible feat. He couldn't even remember how many times his general has snuck out of the medbay without permission.

Taven smiled. "The trick is bribery. Tea will get that man to do anything."

Helix chuckled. He observed Taven for a moment. "I should have known, I'll definitely be using that later."

Taven nodded. She let her eyes slide closed for a minute, caf mostly forgotten.

"So, you're not a Jedi, but you work for them?" Helix asked, curious. Everyone was curious, he just had the balls to ask. He had never met a Jedi healer before. From what he'd seen, they were very effective. There should’ve been more of them, in his opinion, then maybe not so many of his brothers would die.

Taven opened her eyes again and looked at him with silent consideration. She was picking her answer carefully. Helix hoped he hadn't offended her by asking.

"I guess you could say that. I'm force sensitive, but I never trained as a Padawan––a Jedi apprentice. I became a healer when I was 12." Her look was carefully guarded. Taven wasn't giving the full story. She seemed to be waiting for his reaction.

Helix gave a vague nod. He didn't expect her to just spill every detail only hours after they'd met. "So... you were brought to the Temple as a kid, right? Why didn't you become a Jedi?" He was assuming she had the chance to become a Jedi. Didn't everyone in the Temple? From what he'd heard, being a Jedi was some sort of huge honor. Some of the men even liked to joke about being Force sensitive and becoming Jedi.

"Yeah, I was raised at the Temple on Coruscant." Taven worried at her lower lip with her teeth. She wouldn't meet Helix's gaze. "As for becoming a Jedi... It just wasn't for me."

Helix was a bit shocked to say the least. "I never thought Jedi had a choice to be a Jedi, I always thought it was just kind of your duty." They all made it seem that way. Any Jedi that decided that the clones were worth talking to would gladly say being a Jedi was their duty and purpose in the galaxy. At the very least, all of them thought it was an honor to serve such a cause.

But here was Taven, firmly decided in not becoming a Jedi. She wasn't worried about living up to being some great peace keeper.

Helix always thought being a Jedi was a lot like what he'd been trained for, with a purpose to serve and protect. Clones didn't have a choice; they were born and bred for war. Helix and his brothers didn't know anything else. He was told the Jedi were also trained from infancy to become, well, Jedi. It had never crossed Helix's mind that a Jedi youngling was able to say 'no'.

Taven looked down at the table, studying the spotless surface. "Some Jedi would consider me a 'washout'. Those of us that work in the service corps are looked down upon a lot, but we are no less important than any Jedi carrying a lightsaber." The last sentence was firm and matter of fact, almost defensive. 

Helix took another sip of caf, considering what Taven had said. He could understand how Taven felt, being one step lower than the Jedi, but was it different because she had made that choice? Clones didn't get to make a choice. Any of his brothers that worked on the ship, doing things like maintenance and cleaning, and never saw much battle often felt like they were less important, that they were more expendable than their brothers in the field.

In truth, all of them were expendable. They were meant to die on the battlefield for the Republic, but some of his brothers would never get that honor. Was it really an honor though? Dying for a Republic that didn't even consider him and his brothers human. Helix refused to think about things like that. He knew some men talked about it... mostly when they thought no one was listening. Most deserters were clones that disliked the Republic. Helix couldn't blame them, but he couldn't fathom leaving all of his brothers that depended on him behind.

Helix looked at Taven quietly. "You saved quite a few lives today." He couldn't deny the fact that if she hadn't become a healer then she wouldn't have been able to save so many of his brothers. As far as he was concerned, she'd made the right choice. "That's something to be proud of. You might not carry a glow sword like the general, but you're no less important." Everyone had a job to do, himself included. They were all important.

Taven looked back up at Helix, a small smile on her face. "Thanks Helix."

**Author's Note:**

> If you've made it this far, that's amazing! I'm considering continuing with this, but if I do, updates are going to be all over the place. Thank you for reading!
> 
> Beta read by Jens_Holland (you can find them here on Ao3!)


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